Before she came to me

Coco's story does not begin on the day she came to live with me. It begins a few months earlier, at somebody else's house.

I already knew her as a puppy

It started with my mother. She looked after her the first few times, a few days after Coco came to her previous owner. When my mother went on holiday for two or three months, I took over from her. From that moment on Coco mostly came to me, and only very occasionally to my mother.

She was about four months old then. I only know that exactly in hindsight: I always assumed she went to him at eight weeks old, but that turned out to have been two months later.

In that first period she was exactly what you hope for in a puppy: eager to learn, curious, quick.

I taught her all sorts of things in that time. Sit, lie down, paw, a circle. I did that in short sessions, because that is how you teach a dog something new. Only once she knew it did I also use it just through the day. It came easily, because at that point she still really enjoyed training. And more important than those tricks: that she does not run out through an open door.

That did not come out of a book. With her it was not even about the front door, but about the hallway door leading to it. I did not want her in the hallway at all. And I certainly did not want to have to hold her back in the living room when the doorbell rang before I could get into the hallway myself. That had to be able to happen calmly, with her staying where she is unless she has permission. In half an hour it went from a dog who shot into that hallway like an arrow to a dog who sat down and waited until I said it was allowed.

I built up coming back the same way. I started with my flat hand and taught her to push her nose against it. Only once that went smoothly did I attach a word to it: "Coco, come". I deliberately say that louder than my other commands, because this is the only one that also has to work at a distance, and quietly does not work then.

Only after that did I start practising it through the day. At a random moment, exactly when she was busy with something else. Because coming when there is nothing to do says nothing. You want her to come while there is something to do.

Only none of it held up. What she knew one time she had lost again the next. And with every stay it went a little worse: less attention for me, less focus, more stress.

That is the point where I started to understand what was going on. A dog who does not get round to recovering in between holds on to nothing of what you teach him.

Once I had worked that out, I offered her owner help. The plan was that I would train with her every week and then explain to him what he had to do in the meantime to keep it going. I meant that sincerely. I was not out to take her away from there, I wanted it to come good there.

Only it did not happen. Sometimes he had already left after picking her up before I could show anything. And I am somebody who does not speak up quickly, so I just let it happen.

What went wrong

Her previous owner wanted a puppy, precisely because then he could make something of it himself, the way he wanted. Only he knew nothing about puppies.

His approach was punishment. A lot of correcting, almost no rewarding. If she went into the crate, that was not only to sleep but also as punishment, and if she cried in there she got a correction. She wore a collar that could give a shock.

There was also something I noticed myself. If I wanted to stroke her, she sometimes jumped away, as if she expected a smack. Later I heard second hand that people had seen her actually get one.

On top of that she was sometimes in there a whole day, because he simply went out all day. That is too long for any dog, and certainly for a puppy.

You saw that back in everything. She slept in that crate on a bare towel, because she destroyed cushions and the cushion had therefore been taken away and stayed away. But that wrecking was not a cause, it was a result: a dog who does not dare to sleep has to do something with that energy.

I told him that too, as early as the first week he had her. That she is sensitive, that punishment is not going to do her any good, and that he would end up with a frightened and stressed little dog. That is exactly what happened.

How small her world was

There is something else I only worked out once she was with me and stayed.

In that first week I noticed how quickly she went over the top outside. A few minutes was enough, and once we were back inside it hung around for a long time. That told me enough: outside was far too much for her at that point, and that can really only mean one thing. She had seen far too little of it.

That also put something from before into place. If I picked her up and we walked to my house, she came in completely overstimulated. If she was brought by car, she was a lot calmer. So those few minutes of walking cost her more than the whole drive, and it was exactly the last few times that I picked her up on foot.

Her owner at the time sometimes said at pick-up that he had never seen her like that. That can be something you just say. But I can equally imagine that it was true. If you hardly ever take your dog outside, then nothing sends her over the top either. Not because she can handle it, but because she does not see the world. Only when she did see it did you notice.

I do not know that for certain, and her previous owner would probably tell it differently. But it did fit everything I ran into outside afterwards: pulling, running circles, biting at trouser legs, and no attention for me at all.

She was not house-trained either. At home she always had access to the garden, so her bladder had never been trained and she had never learned to signal that she needed to go.

And she had diarrhoea. Not once: just about every time I looked after her. A few days after she came to live with me it was gone, and it has not come back since.

How it went

I had my doubts anyway about whether I wanted a dog myself. I was not looking forward to the walking or to the responsibility that comes with it every day. At the same time, a dog who comes along with me to places I find daunting myself did appeal to me.

And this was not an ordinary puppy. Training a puppy I can do. A puppy with that much baggage was something else, and I did not know whether I knew how to deal with it.

What I did know for certain: I did not want her to become a little dog who goes from family to family because she seems unmanageable. So even if after a few months I had had to say that I was not managing, I would have made sure she ended up somewhere that was safe.

I did not get much time to think it over. On 18 May she was there, and then it started.